Sandwiched vol. 2: It's complicated
There are many stupid things about this Substack series.
The stupid thing about creating a Substack series called “Sandwiched” is that being in the Sandwich Era of life, that period where you’re taking care of both younger and older generations of family and friends, is exhausting. Tack on a book launch — perhaps the most exciting thing to happen to me professionally — and that exhaustion gets swirled up with the thrill of fancy-schmancy book reviews and ooh-la-la author interviews.
The result: A rollercoaster of exhilarating highs and mind-numbing lows; of seeing “The Mango Tree” get glowing recognition from national outlets, while my mother gets transferred into and out of surgery, from ICU to neuro to rehab. I have been, in some way or other, freaking out nonstop for the last six weeks.
Rehab is where I am right now. It’s a squat building with long hallways that’s a 45-minute drive from my house. I’m here because I don’t know how not to be. I’m here to help ease things along. To remind this nurse and that nurse and the next nurse that my mom is hard of hearing and refuses to wear hearing aids. That her right ear is her better ear, only 80% deaf, and that here is a whiteboard and dry-erase marker, in case yelling in her right ear isn’t yielding the desired results. I’m here to keep my mom calm. Or try. I’m here to make sure she gets the physical therapy she needs to, hopefully, one day, get out of here and have some semblance of independence. I’m here to make sure she eats. I’m here to make sure she is bathed. I’m here to pretend I have some control over this.
I’m here.
The stupider thing about creating a Substack series called “Sandwiched” is that I don’t eat many sandwiches any more. I had a Type 2 diabetes scare a few months ago; a long story that I’ll maybe share later. I am fine. But I have cut most sugar and processed carbohydrates from my life. This makes me sad. It’s also made me feel better than I have ever felt. So I am, for the most part, staying the course.
The not-stupid thing about creating a Substack series called “Sandwiched” is that it gives me a really good excuse to eat a freakin’ sandwich now and then. To seek the best sandwich money can buy in Fort Myers, Florida. Or, should time not sandwich me in too tightly, to make a glorious sandwich of my own (just not this week).
This week, a banh mi seems to fit. It is a complicated sandwich with roots in two worlds: crusty bread schmeared with pate, both introduced to Vietnam by French colonizers; pickled vegetables, pork belly and cilantro, ingredients that could easily be dunked in a bowl of phở or bún bò huế.
My current favorite banh mi, if you happen to be in or near Southwest Florida, hails from Zen Deli, which has locations in Fort Myers and Cape Coral. Zen’s creators came to the area via Grand Rapids, Michigan and, before that, Vietnam. They wanted to open a restaurant that wasn’t like the other Vietnamese restaurants, one that showcased the diversity of their culinary roots, with banh mi smeared in butter and pate, as well as vegan banh mi, gooey Reubens, and high-piled corned beef sandwiches served on rye bread alongside half-sour pickles.
If you’d like to make your own banh mi, allow me to introduce you to Andrea Nguyen. She is the author of Vietnamese Food Any Day, and she is the brilliant mind behind this Munchies video that explains how to capture the “the crunch, the tang and the funk,” of the banh mi with simple ingredients and even simpler techniques.
The even not-stupider thing about creating a Substack series called “Sandwiched” is that sandwiches make everything better.
And I could use better right now.
In book news …
Happy 6-weeks-and-2-days birthday to “The Mango Tree.” It’s — weird — the ups and downs of having your book, your memoir!, enter the world.
I once listened to an interview with Celeste Ng, the bestselling author of “Little Fires Everywhere,” “Our Missing Hearts,” and “Everything I Never Told You.” Ng talked about all the mountains you must climb to get published and to continue being published. Each mountain conquered (getting an agent, a book deal, good reviews) feels like a victory. But when you stand atop whatever mountain you’ve bested, all you see are more mountains (besteller lists, movie deals, more books). I feel her sentiment quite acutely these days.
Am I doing enough? What is enough? Can there ever be enough?
When I’m not fretting over my enough-ness, I’m likely fueling what’s become a serious social-media addiction. I can spend unhealthy chunks of time checking and rechecking and re-re-rechecking Instagram. And, for some reason, I’m kind of back on Twitter, too. In an industry like publishing, where SO MUCH feels out of your control, social media has become my attempt to seize some control, kind of like being by my mom’s bedside at this rehab facility.
I am here to gain a semblance of control with my mom’s health. I am re-re-re-rechecking IG to feel some sense of control with this book. This is, perhaps, a problem for me. I have more important things to do with 1.43 hours (oh lord, I just checked) of each day than scroll. But — how else can I sell books? Or thank readers? And booksellers? And all the many people who have loved and supported this mango-jammed book of mine? In reality, this a problem for Future Me. God help her.
Speaking of gratitude and support, here are a few spots “The Mango Tree” has landed of late:
On Mother’s Day, “The Mango Tree” hit No. 1 on the “Motherhood” bestsellers list on Amazon. I’m not quite sure what to make of that for this complicated mother-daughter book, but I appreciate it?! This is, I suppose, a step up from hitting No. 1 (and No. 2!) in the “Dysfunctional Families” category, which happened last month :) Speaking of Amazon, it never hurts to leave your own Amazon review! A quick star rating and a few short sentences go a long way in keeping the book visible in the algorithm. Click here to read what others have written and to leave a review of your own.
Colette Bancroft, the book critic for the Tampa Bay Times, called the memoir, “hilarious and heart breaking, and always big-hearted,” in this stunning review that ran May 6.
The ever-thoughtful Sean Martinelli of NBC2 put together this sincere piece on how a news story from his very station went on to become “The Mango Tree.”
Tanya Sam and her Tanya Time Book Club featured TMT as an AAPI Month pick for ATL & Co! Tanya called the book “cultural, witty and smart … a page turner.” You can watch her full spot here.
Gulfshore Life reporter Jacquelyn Kisic went mango-watching with me (and captured my good side!) for this piece on WINK News.
WMNF in Tampa invited me on as a guest (I got to follow Florida state representative Anna Eskamani, who’s genuinely one of my heroes) to talk mangoes, writing and Florida life. You can listen here; I’m in the last 25 minutes of the show :)
What’s next?
While the pace of book tour is starting to slow, I have some juicy mango stops in the near future.
Saturday! I will be at the Orlando Book Festival talking mangoes, gators and Florida men with Rebecca Renner, Tyler Gillespie and the brilliant minds behind the Vulgar Geniuses podcast. Our panel starts at 11:30 a.m. The event is free and open to the public!
May 23! I have the distinct pleasure of being *the first* author to be chosen for the new Florida Literature Book Club at The Lynx bookstore in Gainesville. The Lynx, which held its grand opening April 28, is owned by literary icon Lauren Groff. She and the store have been making serious headlines lately, and I am honored to kick off this book club.
June 12! The kind folks at the Alliance for the Arts in Fort Myers are launching their indoor summer Night Markets with an ode to mangoes (because YAY MANGO SEASON!!!). This inaugural Mango Night Market goes from 5-8 p.m., with mango dishes, mango drinks, and yours truly talking about “The Mango Tree” with none other than Jovana Batkovic, the punk-rock legend/owner of Nice Guys Pizza. Details are still being ironed out, but Blinking Owl Books will be there to sell books, and I will be there to sign them.
Right now! If you’ve been trying to get your hands on a signed copy of “The Mango Tree,” Blinking Owl has a fresh set of them. This is the first indie bookstore to operate in Fort Myers in — A LONG TIME. If you’re in town, go show them some love.
Welcome! Thank you!
I’ve gained a lot of new followers this month, and I am so grateful for all of you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I appreciate this, as I will be moving my 80-year-old mother in our house soonish, and I have a 4-year-old and full-time editor job and would love to write a book someday but am witnessing those varying realities from friend/colleague new authors. And I don’t have the headspace right now. But love following your journey.
Dear Annabelle, I just finished The Mango Tree. I cried at the end. I am also a writer, dancing around the edges of a memoir, and learned a great deal from you. I love the poised distance you were able to maintain while telling the story. That must be so difficult, but with you as my model, I hope to climb to the top of that tree in my mind. I missed your signing in Naples at High Tide gallery but hope to catch up with you in SWFL on one of your next engagements. Congratulations.